Why Do We Tel People Not to Cry?
Tears are a Natural Part of Life
I just need to cry
Don’t cry – Please don’t cry!
Don’t cry – Boys don’t cry!
Don’t cry – You’re embarrassing me!
Don’t cry – People can see you!
Don’t cry –Don’t be a baby!
Don’t cry – You’re making a fool of yourself!
How often do we hear these repressive phrases still being voiced today in a world where it is a proven fact that repressed feelings are a major cause of relationship breakdowns and stress related emotional and physical illnesses in our daily lives?
How heavily programmed into is it people -especially boys and men – not to openly express their feelings?
How often do we hear women expressing the difficulty their male partner has in expressing his feelings openly?
How often do we hear men say that women are over emotional because they do more readily cry?
How often do we all in general express frustration at others not expressing what they feel?
Now I’m definitely not advocating that people should go around continually crying like pathetic victims but I am saying that this encouraged repression of emotions should be readdressed.
After all there are many types of tears; there are happy tears, sad tears, frustrated tears, in pain tears, laughter tears, fear tears, relief tears, excitement tears, over-whelmed tears, loving tears and so on and so on.
Tears are a natural form of expression and should be accepted as such.
Expression immediately ends repression of all kinds and frees us up to flow into life unrestricted in any emotional way – even happiness cannot be maintained 100% of the time – life is a continual flow into new experiences of being.
Prolonged negative repression of can lead to depression and aggression before in frustration it is released in negative expression, for example in anger, physical violence, suicide and other criminal acts or of course as I have previously mentioned emotional or physical illness. Unfortunately all of these examples are predominant in our world today.
Life is not a Rubik’s Cube that needs to be boxed into to a perfect cube- Life is a free-flowing river constantly charting it course in it natural flow.
Where in many crying instances is compassion?
Why not instead of telling people not to cry ask-
Why are you crying – what’s wrong?
Why are you crying – would you like to talk about it?
Why are you crying – do you need some help?
Or in fact simply say – Cry as all you want until you feel better and then I’ll be here if you need me!
Listening is a powerful act of compassion that can turn someone’s life around.
And even when we encounter those who habitually cry in victim mode we must realize that they are actually seeking guidance and attention in an indirect way to help them find a way to express to themselves, that which about themselves they are afraid to confess and address.
People only feel victimized because of lack of attention they give themselves and maybe just maybe we can offer some guidance to help them attempt to their own needs more, but if advice or concern is in any is shunned then simply let them cry. Even those who play victim will only cry until they all cried out.
Tears are not a negative thing when allowed to flow naturally. Anything in life that follows its natural flow naturally flows into its life purpose but anything blocked from its natural life flow is immediately stopped from fulfilling its life purpose and therefore lives life is an unfulfilled state of repression.
Tears of Laughter
*PRO-LONGED REPRESSION BIRTHS DEPRESSION AND AGGRESSION*
*REPRESSION’S ONLY SAVIOUR IS CONFESSION EXPRESSION*
#NB. This is just an overall view of my take on tears and repression and I don’t want to extend it beyond this, but I will close with one thought to consider regarding balance between the masculine and feminine in regard to tears.
Yes, some women are over emotional and some men show no emotion whatsoever – I truly believe this still happens to show us that even though most of us are aware that we each house masculine and feminine energies within us that we still have more work to do to bring them into perfect balance.
Kerry Guy ©